Peace of mind... - elda eats

“Peace is a state of mind.”

Someone said that. I’ve said that, in so many words to be sure. And, while not to be too dramatic, I needed peace of mind last week in a way that I’ve never needed it before. Because of a thing. An object.

Several years ago, my life partner (let’s call him my husband) and I decided that we wanted to concentrate on life, really living life and spending our money and our time on experiences. It’s not revolutionary, by any means. We decided to do what many people decide to do – exist to live life to the fullest, and not exist to fill the house to the fullest.

I think we were already pretty good at living our best life, but when we decided to make this new idea an actual thing that we said out loud, it became emphasized. It became a challenge almost. We sold our big house; we sold some things we didn’t use, need or really want; we donated so many things to Goodwill that I got to know the employees there in the drop-off lane. It was liberating, and kind of addicting. As a semi-hoarder since childhood, it actually became kind of fun to get rid of as much stuff as possible and actually get to see the tops of counters and shelves, have extra space in my closet and be surrounded by just my favorite things, and not just excess things that I bought on a whim, or to fill a too-big-for-us house, or an item that I ended up dreaded dusting. Oh how stuff accumulates dust!

So, we minimized and we downsized. We moved to a smaller place, and saved more money for vacations and fun stuff, as opposed to will-need-to-be-dusted stuff. And, while I won’t get into it here, it became even easier to live without things, without objects, after I lost my dad. He died three years ago, and I often still have to remind myself, “if I can live without my dad, I can live without any object or thing.” The perspective still hits me.

And then a week ago, I lost an object. And then I lost peace of mind. Not all of my peace of mind, but I was distracted in a way I didn’t think I would be for just losing a “thing.” Even if that thing was my wedding band.

Now, we didn’t have a wedding ceremony, and we’ve been together longer than we’ve had the rings we bought for each other, but for twelve years, that ring was on my finger and I loved it. And talk about experiences – that ring traveled all over the world with me, was scratched up from multiple encounters with who-knows-what, had been nervously twirled around my finger during too many football games to even begin to count, and probably had its fair share of hand lotion, mustard, detergent, dog hairs, my own seemingly always shedding hair and a million other substances covering it at one time or another. Whew. That ring saw a lot. Just the week before it slipped off of my finger it was featured in a photo of me holding a donut in front of a waterfall in Iceland. Iceland!

It’s gone now.

It had been loose for a while, and a few times in the last six months or so, it had come off a little too easily. I should have known, and I should have been more careful. But it fell off, and retracing my steps and searching in the few places it could have been lost in the hour that it happened once I noticed it was gone, was futile. Nothing was found and no one saw it. It’s somewhere, even now. It has to be somewhere. I mean it exists in this universe still but who knows where. I don’t know where.

After 24 hours of looking, I gave up. But regardless of all the downsizing and minimizing I have done, I needed my ring, or at least a ring, again. They still make the ring, and so long story short, I have an exact replacement now. It’s a half size smaller, a lot shinier, and hasn’t been to Iceland. Or even out of San Antonio. Not yet anyway.

So, the best thing I ate last week? It was the easy, quick lunch I grabbed at Starbucks; the Starbucks that is located near Tiffany & Co., which I walked into right after the new shiny ring was on my finger. It wasn’t necessarily what I ate that made it the best meal, but I must say that the peace of mind I felt right then and there made the cheese and crackers taste pretty damn good.